


The First 100 Kisses

by RosieToast



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Complete, Cuddling, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation in Shower, New Relationship, One Shot, Romance, quirky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 18:41:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11515182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosieToast/pseuds/RosieToast
Summary: The first kiss was a slip up on Dirk's part. It took three days for Todd to reciprocate the gesture. Fluff, ahoy! (with a brief naughty bit.)





	The First 100 Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> (Ported from FanFiction.net with minor edits.)
> 
> There was a void in my heart after finishing the show that only fluff could fill. May it also warm your heart, dear reader.

Their first kiss was a slip up on Dirk's part. A couple drinks and a lot of laughs eventually led to an ungraceful pressing of lips to lips. He had poured his heart into that kiss, which left Todd wide eyed and speechless, unable to stop Dirk from hastily retreating.

It took three days for Todd to gather the courage necessary to initiate their second kiss.

Amanda helped with a slap across the back of his head and a passionately stated, "just take what you want, idiot!" she was doing it mostly for Dirk, poor Dirk, who had been avoiding Todd the entire time.

A casually stated threat of unleashing the Rowdy 3 on his apartment (again) also motivated Todd to "find his balls" and "stop being an asshole about everything just because it's easy" (as Amanda put it.)

She also helped get them together, calling Dirk to meet her outside the sketchy-ass apartment her brother called home. The minute Dirk stepped out of his car Todd strode forward, eyes unwavering, and he took the young Brit by the lapel to pull him into a fierce kiss. Dirk almost pulled away, having already been poised to escape due to the strange intensity in Todd's bright blue eyes and only stopped because the Rowdy 3 were crowded behind him, but then the kiss was happening and it felt so good and he melted into it, his hands coming to rest on Todd's upper arms.

Amanda and the Rowdy 3 whistled and whooped.

When the men pulled away to breathe, Dirk opened his mouth, expression growing curious, but Todd interrupted, "don't," his voice firmly halting Dirk's question, "ruin the moment with your universe stuff."

Dirk looked a little surprised, and then a lot happy. "Wouldn't dream of it, although now that you mention it, I've noticed an absence of curious instances in my life and was beginning to believe that perhaps the universe was telling me to..." Dirk took note of Todd's rising eyebrow and cleared his throat, "we can talk about that later, I guess."

Todd sighed with a note of endearment in his voice, "sure."

"And this makes us a couple, then?" Dirk asked, bracing himself for rejection despite his boldness and the fact that Todd was still gripping his jacket, albeit lower down and much more gently.

Todd sighed again, "yes."

"Then I can kiss you again?" Dirk's heart began fluttering with anticipation.

Todd blushed and smiled, "yes."

Their third kiss included tongue and nibbling on lips.

Amanda and the Rowdy 3 approved loudly.

Over the next few days they explored this new aspect of their relationship with glee. There were no interruptions from the universe between kisses four through twenty-five (which didn't take too long to get to, honestly,) and Dirk discovered he loved long, languid kisses the most. They filled his heart with a glowing liquid which overflowed and left his body feeling tingly long after they were over.

A new case popped up after kiss 30, and for about two weeks there wasn't much time for more than quick, dry pecks and one intensely hot make-out session after a coincidental visit to a kink club. Dirk had taken discreet notes for use once the case was wrapped up.

The case eventually led them to a small, anti-climactic showdown in which Farah stole the show with her advanced ass-kicking skills. But not until after Dirk and Todd both got theirs handed to them, leaving both parties bruised, scratched, and rather muddy. They rode home feeling sore and relieved and not at all tired, for the adrenaline was still pumping through their veins.

"Whoa, guys, quit it!" Farah reached into the back seat to slap at their knees - the only part of their bodies she could reach while driving.

They were currently engaging in kisses 55 through 60, having not entirely noticed that's what was happening until Farah's voice interrupted them.

"You keep your hands to yourselves while in my car!" she scolded, peering at them in the rear-view mirror.

They were both blushing, but Dirk looked much less repentant than Todd.

"Sorry, Farah, I don't know what-" Todd began a sloppy apology which Farah cut off.

"It's okay, I just don't need any penis loose on my back seat."

Todd's face became a deeper shade of red before he hid it in his hands. Dirk giggled from beside him.

When they got home, Dirk was the first through the door, but Todd was the first to announce: "I'm going to take a shower."

Dirk twirled around, "allow me to accompany you…" he was advancing on the bathroom as he spoke.

But Todd cut him off with an emphatic, "no," followed by the bathroom door slamming shut.

Moments later the water was running, and Dirk counted the seconds while he hastily removed his jacket, tie, shirt, and socks. By the time he was slipping into the bathroom against Todd's wishes, the slender ex-musician was well into lathering his hair, which was overdue for a cut (they both agreed.)

"I thought I told you not to join me," Todd said from behind the curtain.

Dirk's pants and briefs were off his body in record time, but he managed a measure of suaveness as he pulled back the curtain, "you did, but I disagree with your initial assessment of the situation and," he was now in the shower with Todd, his eyes firmly locked with his boyfriend's, "I believe you'll find me to be…rather persuasive in the matter," to punctuate his point, Dirk's hand slid around Todd's hip and gripped his ass.

Even with suds still clinging to his hair, Todd's expression was lethally hot to Dirk. "Then persuade me."

Dirk dove in for kiss 61. Todd had long since lost count, but their enthusiasm was equal. Under the sporadic spray of the shower head they kissed, being interrupted only briefly by the taste of shampoo being washed down Todd's head.

They switched spots after a minute, giving Dirk the brief opportunity to be rinsed, at least, under the hot water. But the awkward dance to make that happen caused their erections to press together in an uncomfortably good way. It made Dirk want to touch, stroke, lick…

With a small trembling in his hand, Dirk reached out and ran a single finger along the underside of Todd's penis.

Todd, having been busy nipping at Dirk's collarbone, hissed deliciously at the touch.

Encouraged, Dirk gripped Todd's penis and gave it a couple, slow pumps.

Suddenly Todd was gripping Dirk by the hair, pulling his head back so that their eyes could meet while still giving Todd, the shorter of the two, a distinct dominant edge.

Dirk liked it.

"You keep doing that, I can't promise I can stop this," Todd told him, still sweetly considerate of his partner.

Dirk smiled back, "oh good, I was really hoping that would be the case," and he continued doing what he had been doing.

Todd pulled Dirk in for a kiss, now Dirk was also finding it hard to keep track of them, and their teeth clacked together briefly.

Todd pulled back, "turn around," he whispered huskily.

It sent a shiver down Dirk's spine. He did as we was told and was immediately wrapped in Todd's arms. One hand moved up to toy with a pert nipple, the other down to stroke Dirk's erect penis, all while Todd's mouth nipped and sucked along Dirk's neck and shoulder, reaching the area just perfectly.

Dirk didn't notice right away when the hand at his chest left, but he did notice when the ministrations to his penis ended, and he groaned with frustration. "Why…?"

Both slick hands returned to his body, one gently gliding a bar of soap over his skin. "You should actually wash while you're in here. We'll run out of hot water soon, and you shouldn't go to bed dirty."

"Some might argue all this work will be undone anyways," Dirk looked over his shoulder at Todd, who simply chuckled at him.

Having his boyfriend lather him up wasn't so bad, Dirk decided, finding the sensation of Todd's hands running over every inch of his body rather soothing. It got exciting, even, when Todd kneeled in the tub to wash his legs. Although he was facing away, he found just imagining Todd glancing up at him to be a powerful aphrodisiac.

They had to get out of the shower immediately.

As if on cue, the hot water ran out and Dirk squealed under the icy spray that rained down on him.

"Shit!" Todd cried out as he got to his feet. "Rinse off quick!" He put the soap down and got out of the shower.

"Wha- you're abandoning me!?"

"No! I'm… Giving you an incentive to get out faster…"

Dirk turned off the water and pulled the curtain back, finding Todd with a towel wrapped around his waist. To his credit he was holding a second one for Dirk.

"The water itself was incentive enough, thanks," he grabbed the towel while stepping out of the tub, a cute pout on his lips. His erection may have suffered due to the shockingly cold water, but he still felt horny and very much wanted to continue from where they left off.

"You want me to make you some tea?" Todd asked casually, almost as if they hadn't been in the middle of some very fun foreplay a minute ago.

"No, I want to curl up with you in bed and engage in kisses 66 through 100. I think we could manage it if we really immersed ourselves in the task."

Todd cocked an eyebrow and grinned crookedly, "you've been counting our kisses?"

"Almost subconsciously, yes," was Dirk's reply.

The grin and eyebrows evened out. Todd was shaking his head as he opened the bathroom door, needing only to push it because Dirk hadn't closed it properly in his rush to join the shower. "Come on, then, let's see if we can make it to 100."

A joyful giggle bubbled up inside of Dirk before he hurried forwards to join Todd in bed.

Todd woke up first, feeling a little disoriented until he realised the extra weight on his stomach was Dirk's arm. It was just before dawn; a quiet period when the world looks like it's dialed the saturation to 30%.

He remembered the fight yesterday, the intense makeout session in the shower, and their continuation in bed.

They didn't make it to the 100th kiss. He only knew that because Dirk started counting them out loud as each one ended. The last Todd could remember was 77. That was when the adrenaline and cold water shock had worn off and they had settled on cuddling, which was soon followed by sleep. At 4 in the afternoon.

To be fair, though, they didn't get much rest during a case, so they shouldn't feel guilty for falling asleep in the middle of the day. Todd's stomach disagreed with this logic, but his heart and brain were on board so that's all that really mattered.

"What time is it? Can we go get pancakes? I'm kind of in the mood for banana pancakes." Dirk's groggy voice rose from the pillows.

Todd turned his head to find that Dirk hadn't opened his eyes yet. "It's not even light out," he replied, chuckling.

An eye cracked open, "has that ever been a problem before?" His lips curved into a smirk.

Todd scoffed, "going out with you always leads to problems."

Both eyes were open as Dirk quickly propped himself up, "what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you attract trouble, and any time I leave the apartment with you I run the risk of getting involved," he considered this before adding, "even just staying here with you eventually leads to trouble, actually…" That was when Todd noticed Dirk looked genuinely hurt.

"Am I really such a bother?"

Feeling like an asshole, Todd reached up to stroke Dirk's cheek, "no, no, no… That's not what I meant! Well, I mean, it's true you attract trouble," at this Dirk pulled away, laying down with his back to Todd. Hurriedly, Todd tried to make amends as he sat up, "but I didn't meant it in a bad way! Ahhh, I'm such a dick…"

"How is it not a bother that, no matter what, strange things will come your way? No matter what, you'll be dragged into bizarre circumstances that are beyond comprehension and reasoning… Always at the mercy of the universe…"

"It would be harder to deal with it if I was alone. But working with you is fun, if sometimes infuriating, and always interesting. You make my life… Better, Dirk, really."

Dirk turned so that they could look each other in the eye, "you mean that?"

Todd had never felt more sincere as he nodded his head and said, "yeah." He kissed Dirk, winking as he counted it, "number 78."

"You kept track!"

"Well, no… More like I remember you counting last night. I'm sorry we didn't get to 100."

Dirk shook his head while pulling Todd into a cuddle, nestling his head on Todd's chest before he said, "it's okay. We'll get there today. If we aren't interrupted…"

"It must have been tough dealing with this shit alone," Todd mused, his voice laced with empathy.

Dirk shrugged, "like with anything there are ups and downs. I may never be able to plan anything in my life, but I'm always guaranteed the things I need. There were times that I wished I was like everybody else, but then...I wouldn't have met you," left at that it was touching, but Dirk had to add, "my first assisboyfriend."

All at once Todd was laughing while also wrapping his arm, the one being used as Dirk's pillow, around his boyfriend's neck. "Oh, so I'm an assistant first?"

Dirk was also laughing as he struggled against the headlock, "then what about boyassisfriend?"

Todd wrestled his way on top of Dirk, laughing and panting, "that's even worse!" he pinned Dirk's arms to the bed.

"Well now you're just being difficult," Dirk stated with a playful smirk

"Why can't I just be Todd, Dirk Gently's boyfriend?"

"Because you're not just that, Todd." Dirk replied sincerely, his playfulness suddenly gone.

It took Todd completely by surprise, making him blush and unable to think of a response. So instead he looked away and got off Dirk, "I have to pee," he said quietly before heading over to the bathroom.

Stunned by the sudden change in Todd, Dirk turned over so he was facing the partially closed bathroom door. "Did I do something wrong?"

"I can't hear you, Dirk, just give me a second."

Dirk knew Todd could hear him, otherwise he wouldn't have said anything. But he let it be and waited patiently for Todd to return.

The toilet flushed, the tap was turned on then off, and Todd came back to the bed. He didn't get back in, though, but instead studied the floor.

"What are you looking for?" Dirk asked, bringing himself closer to the edge of the bed.

"Pants,"

Dirk got up and sat on his knees at the edge of the bed. "Did I upset you?" He grabbed Todd's wrist while trying to make eye contact. And then he noticed Todd's face was bright red.

"No! I just…Need coffee…"

Dirk grabbed Todd's other wrist, too, "I thought we were sharing, Todd!"

Todd made some noncommittal sounds, but Dirk was having none of it, and eventually Todd stuttered out a sincere, "I never thought anyone would look at me that way you did just now."

Shocked by the sad yet sweet confession, it took a moment for Dirk to come up with a response. But when he felt Todd getting shifty, he let his body take over.

He released Todd's wrists in favour of caressing his face, pulling him into kiss number 79; it was one of those long, languid ones. The kind that he found best suited to spilling one's heart into. And his was absolutely overwhelmed with love for Todd at that moment.

Just as the kiss started to heat up, however, Dirk had to pull himself away, cursing under his breath as he did so. "You get in the bed and don't think of moving, I'll be right back." He was halfway to the bathroom when he glanced over his shoulder to check that Todd was in bed.

"Just go, I'll be here," Todd chuckled, not even looking at Dirk from where he was laying.

Dirk grinned. It was nice having someone who was always there.


End file.
